Today’s blog is a true story about two twin girls….
First…the title is of a really good book…probably one of the best ever written…there was a movie inspired by the book. A lot of girls are scared away by the title because it sounds bad…but it is actually a book that will build up your self confidence if you are single or if you are in a relationship that is not the best. Trust me, I have read it many times!!! (of course this was prior to me meeting “the one”)….
Once upon a time there were two twin girls who came from a very small town in
. They grew up with their parents wanting them
to meet “prince charming”, someone who would take care of them. Both girls did not date that many guys. They graduated a year early from high school
and entered college at a very young age.
Both were very naïve and sadly were willing to settle…Of course, at the
ripe young age of 18 or 19, or even 20, they did not realize they were willing
to settle…They learned this lesson much later in life. Louisiana
So twin one marries her second or third boyfriend because he was Catholic and had a college degree. The other twin got engaged to what she thought was someone who was madly in love with her. Sadly things didn’t end the way either twin imagined. The first twin (the older of the two by one minute) immediately realized she made a mistake. She tried to hang in there, but it just was not meant to be. Her “college educated husband” thought it would be ok to lie and take out 30,000 worth of credit card debt paying for things….let’s just say, things you can get for free….but she sadly learned that if you are married, you are just as responsible regardless if you know about the debt or not. This doesn’t even go in to the fact that he lied about going part time on his job and “pretending to be in graduate school” while she supported both of them on a huge $23,000 teaching job.
The other twin, had similar unfortunate circumstances…She was cheated on by the one she thought loved her because he proposed marriage. He cheated on her with one of our cheerleader’s on our university’s homecoming court. (They were cheerleading partners). This twin was pregnant and had to watch these two walk around campus, hand in hand, madly in love.
You would think that these two young ladies would be “jaded by guys”…The first twin was grateful for a “second” chance with a divorce and no kids, and a new start in
. The other twin was grateful for a new chance
with a cute British guy who promised to love her forever….You know the story…of
course the Brit couldn’t be trusted and ended up being a cheater as well…. Houston,
But I digress….Here is the point of the story…There is a great book called “He’s Just Not that In To You”….It is so good…It tells women the truth…If he’s not calling you…he’s not into you…If he’s not texting you, emailing you, he’s just not that into you….don’t take it personally…..it is not about you…it is about him…and I firmly believe this…God knows…you are not meant to be….
I laugh at people who tell me , “I’m in a relationship that is hard, but all relationships that are hard, are worth it…”…. No….he’s just not that into you….if he is not calling, if you are a booty call, if you are last minute…he is just not into you….and that is ok…it is not you…it is him…..
My experience after my “divorce” was that I set a standard “I would only date college educated guys because I had a college degree”…That was an ok standard, but that did not weed out jerks and toads… because I kissed a lot of them….I know that we were in our twenties, professionals, and guys wanted to have fun…I got dumped lots of times, but they always called me back…I knew they would and they did…But, most of the time I had the guts to tell them to buzz off, I was better than that.
So here is my opinion…take it with a grain of salt…I am 36 years young….
I have lots of friends, family, and acquaintances that sadly at this moment are settling…It just seems that women settle more then men….maybe this is not true, but I believe this…It saddens be that my friends, family, acquaintances, and facebook friends put up with guys who:
· Talk down to them
· Are lazy
· Make the woman the “provider”
· Have little initiative
· Have no personality
I could go on…Please don’t be this person and settle….Pick yourself up, tell yourself you are better than that and move on. Life is too short to settle for a “partnership” that is a seasaw with the woman being the main person.
So how does this story end for the “twins?”….or not, but where is it…
The first twin…..She dated lots and lots of professional guys who were jerks…they just wanted to have fun…and then one day she was stood up on a date and ended up at her roomate’ s boyfriend’s debate watching party (Bush vs. Gore). That is where she met her husband. They did not talk the entire night (he initially thought she had a boyfriend) but ended up going on a date after he realized she was single. She knew he was a “good one” when he planned the date….he took her to a very cool Latin restaurant/ music venue in the warehouse district. You had to knock on the door to get in…she knew he was a keeper because he planned the date…He did not just pick her up and say, “where do you want to go”…And her intuition was right….He has only gotten better…He surprised her by proposing exactly one year later on their first date, and then planning a surprise trip to Portland, Oregon because she once mentioned she wanted to go there….Is everything always perfect?... No…but she knew he was a keeper when he (a smart engineer) used his savings to pay the 30,000 that she owed from “debts unknown.”…And an added bonus is that her ex husband and ex husband’s family all live in the same suburb in Katy. They get to run into each other at the gym. Life is good….She is just grateful for her super smart, funny, successful husband and three beautiful daughters.
The second twin…I am happy to report that she has had a similar “fairy tail ending”…It wasn’t perfect. Her twin sister had to buy her the book “He’s Just Not that Into You” a couple of times…Once, she was reading the book and an ant crawled on her in a car…she didn’t want to kill the ant, so she threw the book out the window…she felt, maybe karma was telling the guy behind her (whose car was hit) a message. The first twin had to buy the book again for the second twin because she to was kissing way too many frogs.
The good news is that the second twin found the love of her life on match.com. She almost didn’t date him because he had two girls and she had two kids…Both of their spouses cheated on them...they got annulments, and married in the Catholic Church. Now they are a match made in heaven and have a 5tn child that ties both families together.
So, what is the point of the story…The point is to not settle…When twin number 2 had two kids, twin #1 told her….don’t settle…you don’t have to. Life is too short… Life is too short to settle for guys (or girls) who don’t treat you like a million dollars…or even a half….people who just don’t put that “extra” effort into you….People that don’t take two seconds to buy you a valentines day card or mother’s day gift. Even if the “person” doesn’t believe in these “make believe” holidays…who cares…it’s not about them…it’s about YOU!!!! Don’t settle…there are too many guys with personality and who are into you….and will make the extra effort…
“””One final disclaimer…both twin one and two realize that you can’t let yourself go…you have to care about how you look...they both hate working out and eating right, but know that they want to be with partners who care about being healthy”.
So, all of you WONDERFUL single girls….read the book, get yourself in the best condition physically and spiritually and go for it…don’t settle…do online dating…have fun….But DO NOT SETTTLE….You want to be with someone with PERSONALITY and DRIVE!!!!